A Wandering Fox

  Happy and Gentle Holiday, yall! I have yet to ADF-alize my Reindeer Mother ritual, and before I knew it yesterday, it was time to bake the reindeer cake.  I was exhausted--I'd put a lot of work into Yule Eve and the Gift Exchange part of our Yule festivities, and more work yet to be done with the other days, so I kept the rite simple. I made a ginger and cardamom cake with lemon icing.  I cut the cake with reindeer, star, and ghost cookie cutters.  Funnily, the last bit of cake resembled a Krampus, so I told the kids it was.  One of my kids asked if next year, we can add Krampus cake to our Dec 5th celebrations.  Sure! After dinner and some digestion, I turned off the Yule Tree's lights and left the tree topper's on.  Our tree topper is a Reindeer with a Sun in Her Antlers (made by me in 2017-18).   Reindeer Masks and Jingle Wands, I read them a story that I wrote about Reindeer Mother's journey to carry the Sun into the skies.   ...

Dang I haven't posted on here in a while.  To be fair, I haven't done much blogging on any of my blogs.  I haven't finished my 9 Pagan Virtues project, and I only have Fertility left.  Nor have I been working on the DP essays.  As usual, I've been living my paganism and letting the things that I have learned sink in.  Take root and all that.  I've also been studying and practicing seidr.  I just finished studying  Volva Stav Manual by Kari Tauring, and boy does she talk a lot about trinities--things in 3's--and I just kept thinking about the parallels of 3's in ADF Druidry.  I don't have much to talk about, other than just me reflecting on the various 3s and trinities in both subjects.  Things that require more thought, perhaps? No, I think I wanted to talk about Yule and the upcoming family rituals we have going on.  Normally, December is a month of Yule for us, due to my up and down spoon levels.  I love this time of the yea...

I attended a Virtual Fire rite last night, where we gave thanks to the Kindred for whatever--I gave thanks for seership, divine mentoring, and patience from Them to me and me to Them. Each of us were able to invite certain deities we were thankful for, and Artemis and Ceres took control of me for a moment to type in Their names and what Their gifts to humankind: Wild and Domestic Harvests.  But before Them a deity who's not part of the PIE (Proto-Indo-European cultures) came through.   The pagan cultures that ADF Druidry focus on are Proto-Indo-European.  That doesn't mean that you personally can't honor entities outside of the PIE, but They can't be part of the rites.  Now what people do in private is their own thing, but in public or group, you're technically not supposed to. Like ADF is against animal sacrifice and I think bloodletting, as well.  Well, I haven't done animal sacrifice since I stopped hunting and fishing many years ago.  But when I do...

  Normally I wait until after the Last Harvest (Thanksgiving) to put up the Yule decorations. But in these darkening times (and I'm not just talking about the seasons), I just needed some light, some hope. Especially for my kids. While selecting the ornaments for the kids to excitedly hang on the tree this year, I picked those that bring us joy and fun memories. Memorial ornaments. Spiritual and magikal ones, too. In my family, the Yule Tree serves as an altar for many kinds of magiks and for honoring our Kindreds, especially our Ancestors. It serves as an altar for great love, joy, protection, community, healing, and other things. Important things needed to combat darkness. Things to feed the spirit...and spirits. Things to strengthen our resolve. Follow the Sun. Trust in Joy. Trust in Community. - Dedicant and Hearth Keeper Foxlyn © 2024 Hearth Fox Oracle

 

But not in the bad way, like not speaking up when the vulnerable are being slaughtered and beaten and carted away. To Be Silent in magikal ways. Not blabbing about our intentions and spell working and prayers. Can't trust the internet or technology. Never know who's listening (yes I'm aware of the irony as I type this on a public blog.) Do as Tricksters do and work from the shadows. Work with those on the Other side. Work with other shapeshifters. Two posts from Virtual Fire Proto-Grove: Loki's Unexpected Twist  By Emily Guenther Three Messages from Loki to the World  by John Beckett Aye, I've been told the same from Loki, Hekate, and other entities, especially this year. The importance of joy and shapeshifting during these Tower Times. Messages that have been given multiple times during the omens, and not just from me. Joy, protections, shapeshifting. Loki's been teaching me shapeshifting for a while, and while I could only focus on how I suck with maski...

Tonight is the ritual with Virtual Fire, and like many if feels like I got kicked in the gut by the Gods, so I'm not in much of a honoring the Gods mood. Not attending tonight. Just feeling the emotions, the grief, and letting the tears fall.  Waves of fear, rage, uncertainty, hopelessness, crisis, and distrust of myself and Them...as well as waves of understanding, drive, anger, hope, community, fight, and faith. I'm a hot mess at the moment. Afraid for my loved ones, neighbors, strangers. Afraid of my loved ones, neighbors, strangers.... Afraid for myself and feeling like I can't protect my kids--which is just the worst feeling in the world. Doubting my psychic abilities and my magik. Doubting my Gods. Doubting people.  A real crisis of faith.  I am oathed and serve as Priestess and Spirit Worker to many Gods and yet...I'm having a spiritual crisis.  Not in Their existence, but in Their agendas.  I can't exactly quit. But also not sure that I want to. On one h...

Okay, no. I'm also weird! I just want to clarify that Virtual Fire hasn't made me feel like an outsider at all--all of yall have been incredibly kind. It's just my experiences and fears bubbling to the surface. And also me trying to figure out weird, contradictory social rules, right? I'm still going to try to speak last when omen volunteers are asked for. I really love this grove and I don't want to fuck it up. After I posted the last post, the next day the depression was gone. Things were clearer and I didn't feel as vulnerable and like a loser who can't keep friends. I'm never really had a lot of friends--I'm a homebody and I'm also careful...or I thought I was careful with interacting with people. It would appear that my techno-psychic abilities aren't as sharp as I thought they were. Over the last few years, I've had some abusive friendships and met some selfish, two-faced people. I didn't realize that I was so naive! An...

I had a great Halloween and Midfall.  It was also my Handfasting Anniversary on the 31st, and that was wonderful, too. I didn't attend Three Crane Grove's rite because our neighborhood held their Trick or Treat night.  I also decided to not pay my Friend dues to TCG this October because I'm just in a weird place.  I've been dealing with a lot of grief and depression, and just fighting with myself this fall.  Virtual Fire did have a rite, and I offered to do the omen, but only if others didn't want to.  And I want others to want to, too.  I think instead of offering first, I'll stay quiet and let others volunteer.  I don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to take over as the main seer, ya know?   It's my favorite part and I'm good at it, but I don't want others to feel that they shouldn't volunteer just because I'm present.  Or because I've said, "I will if no one else wants to."  I don't mind being a default rea...

I'm trying to work on my Midfall ritual, but alas, I just lack the motivation and inspiration to do so.  Normally Midfall is my favorite ritual, and this is usually my favorite time of the year, but since 2011, October's been over shadowed by heavy grief energy.  I had a miscarriage that month and year, but have long since healed from it, knowing that my son Nathan is fine on the other side.   From that kind of grief to financial grief, it didn't get easier.  It got even more stressful, especially once our landlord in 2022, evicted us so they could refurbish the unit.  That was a super stressful time, but Gods willing, we ended up at our currant home--an upgrade to a kind landlord (I didn't know those actually existed!) and not being in an apartment anymore.  We're not attached to anyone, we have a driveway, and we're in a safe neighborhood.  However, I'm also still healing from the trauma from our last landlord.  Oofff.  Dude was a jac...

I did omen last night for Virtual Fire's weekly rite.  Last night was a cauldron ritual honoring Cerridwen.  I think the last cauldron rite was done by the same person...maybe...either way it was my second one.  I don't work with my cauldrons as often as I used to.  I have two.  One in the traditional shape and one for camping.  The camping one I use for the Norse offerings and hearth magiks.  The other big one just sits on my counter, by my teas.  I need to clean it up, because at our last place the sink had a bad leak and the Just-In-Case of leaks bowl (because that bitch leaked a lot) had moved, so my cauldron got a lot of water damage.  It's really rusted on the inside.  It's cast iron, so I'm not sure if I need to take some steel wool to it or what, or just retire it.  I need to look it up.   I was raised around iron cast cookware, but never taught how to care for it.  I know for unrusted, you heat it up in the o...

 I'm still around.  I've been taking Moderation to heart.  Last Sunday I was working at Pagan Fest, and yesterday I went to the zoo.  Today is my brother's birthday and tomorrow is my mom's 1 year death anniversary.  Normally I'd be trying to do everything and blog. It's all just much, ya know? Moooooderation. Be well!

 Moderation Do not over/under indulge Spirit of Moderation by Rev. Dangler Firmly placed, set within the bosom of the Earth, I stand upon firm foundation. The rock of moderation is fertile ground That offers me lessons I honor. Upon this rock, I learn Self-Discipline; Reminded to trust myself and my fellows, I let go of judgement and fear. Moderation, keep my hand firmly in control. When I pause, reflecting, you bring to light The stillness and center the cosmos offers. From within, I remind myself to hold to Reliability, And to be that rock for others when the seas are rough. No matter the storm or winds I encounter, I return to you, Moderation, To find understanding joy in the ordinary. Reflections and Notes: Hellenic Pillar of Metriotes - Everything in moderation. Hellenic Pillar of Sophrosune - Self Discipline. The witch rune Crossroads - Rune of Decisions, and for me over time, Self Discipline. Dionysus, a god of many things, especially Moderation.  I know many addicts wh...

  Persephone's Descent ritual last night went really well.  It finally rained--during the Three Cranes Grove ritual.  During the Hallowing of the Waters, my kids and I were outside dancing in the sprinkles, yelling at the sky, "KINDREDS AND SPIRITS ALL, GIVE US THE WATERS!"  We finally got lot of rain after weeks of drought! I did the ritual inside, and due to space, I didn't have as many items on the altar. Changes: Inside Off the ground Hestia got dried rosemary offering instead of salted flour Bee got plain sugar instead of sugar water Persephone picked the Elder Futhark runes instead of any of the Greek or neutral divination tools I have. I played music in the beginning--Mama Gina's Persephone . With the ritual script on my phone and DSLR by my side, the ritual went a little something like this: I began the rite with lights on, and Mama Gina's Persephone playing on the altar. When I invited Hestia, I turned off the room light and opened that copper color...

 Hospitality Being a welcome and thankful host. Spirit of  Hospitality by Rev. Dangler Welcoming, opening, drawing them in, We see ourselves in others, their presence a blessing. No matter where we have come from or where we reside, We ask that the stranger sit at our table. Our home is a blessing of refuge, Where any may be welcomed. It turns no one away who is hurting, For our fire is warmest when fed by friendship. Spirit of  Hospitality, let us be good hosts! Help us open to all, no matter their roots. Spirit of  Hospitality, let us be good guests! Help us to remember those whose land this was! Open to us that we may open to others, In memory, in joy, and in fellowship. So be it. Reflections and Notes Xenia - Hellenic Pillar of Hospitality My Hearth Entities: Hestia-Vesta, Vestals, Hekate, Frigg, Loki, Frau Holle, Tomten, Nisse, and the Disir (and perhaps some of the Alfar, but I can only see the Disir at this point). My parents didn't teach me a lot about cookin...

 The depression is lifting a bit, I'm not so down in the dumps.  Last night during Virtual Fire's Hellenic Culture ritual--led by Pete--he asked me what deities were present.  I had declined doing the omen this round, but deities stepped forward: Loki (the spice of ritual life), Heimdall, Frigg, the Doe Persephone, Venus, and a few Others that I can't remember right now.  Pete also felt Hekate and had dogs barking outside.  I also felt Freyja and another Priest mentioned Her.  Others invited Hel, Cernunnos, Athena, a couple of Others.  Then I kept seeing the symbols of a Brown Bear, a Red Lush Rose, and Gold.  Don't know what they meant, but someone suggested possibly Aphrodite?  I think another attendee did mention Her.  Maybe.  I didn't get any additional info, so.  *shrug* The full moon is coming up, and the Fall Equinox, too.  I thought about volunteering for a ritual week before/week of the equinox honoring Persephone...

  Integrity Being trustworthy and honorable. Spirit of Integrity by Rev. Dangler Establishing the whole from many parts, Drawing together the constituent fragments, Completing and maintaining the structure of the cosmos Spirit of Integrity, I call to you. There are times when the world seems That it cannot be held together; That the scaffolding may collapse, And that we may fall again to each. But we also know that we are in control; Our word remakes the world when kept, Our service will steady us against howling winds, And our community reinforces us. Spirit of Integrity, stand firm with us And remake my world through solidarity. Well, I've been in a bit of a depressive slump these last few days.  Weather change, possibly.  Although I do love the cooler fall weather, which we had one day last weekend, this both days this weekend.  Yesterday, I was bundled up, wrapped in a throw that I had made, while crocheting a toy for one of my kids, out on the deck.  It was...

 Yay I got an email this morning about passing Essay #5 - 2 Powers Meditation .  So happy.  Technically, I'm working on all of the other essays, but actively I'm working on the Pagan Virtues and the Book Reviews.  If you're following recently, I'm 5 weeks into my Pagan Virtues Deep Dive project.  I've finished reading Being a Pagan and have written a rough draft, so far. I've made an attempt of the both High Day essays, which I thought would've been finished first, but they're all in various stages.  Which is odd, because I love the high days and I love writing and performing rites for them.  Figured that I'd be good and done by now, but I've tweaked the 8 days so much over the years to better suit my beliefs, that I can't really remember what they originally mean.  What's original and what's mine?  Then there's some original days that I can't click with, like Imbolc and Lughnasadh, namely because they celebrate deities that...

My life is this Virtue--which is true for most people.  Perseverance for me takes the animal spirit form of the Mountain Goat and Mouflon Ram.  The American Bison comes forward, too.  Long time spirit companions.  Learning how to climb the mountains of life.  Who better to show how-to than mountain climbers (save for the Bison, who deals more with flatter lands, but strong winds and ice caked fur)? Foot falls, slips, mistakes, successes, dealing with weather and predator chaos, healing, resting, drama with other climbers.   Navigating the Chaos--which concerning chaos, I see rough waters more than mountains.  I see Loki and Laguz.  Going with the flow, instead of resisting and drowning, even if you have to white knuckle that raft.   Hanging on. Perseverance has been huge in my healing and shadow work journey.  I'm think now I'm kind of on the other side of that.  Not done by any means--still lots of healing and growth to b...

 Courage Acting appropriately in the face of adversity. Doing the right thing. Spirit of Courage by Rev. Dangler The winds of the season's change Blow through the trees and leaves. The y cry out, speaking of our place in the cycle, Telling tales of the year ahead. When the way is dark, I seek you; Spirit of Courage, the Bull in the Woods. I hear your voice, echoing in the trees. A call that stirs my heart and lifts me When all things seem too much to bear. You help me navigate change and fear, Leading me through dark forests at night. For even when I feel abandoned by friends, Your guiding light is shown to be internal. I draw that compass forth and follow you. My heart and my health are warm. Spirit of Courage, Bull of the Woods, I honor you for your guidance. Reflections : Lessening dairy in your diet.  Adding yet another dietary restriction as you learn to listen to your body and to the things that hurt you.  Getting strict with portion control.  Doing all of thes...