9 Pagan Virtues: Courage
First off,
Happy Trickster's Day!
Hail Loki, Hermes, Dionysus, Coyote, Fox, Corvids, and the many other Trickster entities in the world!
Second thing, my brother was on a podcast: Inside the Mind of a US Army Colonel: Strategy, Leadership, PTSD, Purpose, Resilience, and Adversity.
Third thing,
Happy Trickster's Day!
Hail Loki, Hermes, Dionysus, Coyote, Fox, Corvids, and the many other Trickster entities in the world!
Second thing, my brother was on a podcast: Inside the Mind of a US Army Colonel: Strategy, Leadership, PTSD, Purpose, Resilience, and Adversity.
Third thing,
Holy crap I just woke up from a wild fuckin dream. Me and BFF went to some park, walking a muddy trail. There was a lot of other people, too. Grieving, worried women/fem presenting. The park was filled with cougars and panthers, but no one was worried about them, just their grief and sorrows--blind to the dangers around them.
I was more worried about the big cats, though. Alert ears, head on a swivel.
We kept hearing cougar growls and unbothered women just throwing sticks, branches, and rocks at them, and the big cats would back off.
I think they all looked the same, too--the women. They were all the same person, just hair and clothes might've been different. Each one in a grief trance, just wandering the trails of this big cat filled, muddy park. I remember we were following a river or a creek that was flowing downstream.
BFF and I got to an old house that had been abandoned for years. She went inside, fearlessly. I cautiously. The rooms were bright white, but trashed with furniture and old toys. She walked to two back rooms, and stood inside one of them with her eyes closed. She was looking for the spirit of her brother. I couldn't sense any presence, and kept telling her that, but she wouldn't listen.
It was getting dark and I knew that's when the bigger, meaner cats would come, and we wouldn't be safe in that old house. I was urging her to break out of whatever possessed her to come into the house. We had to leave. Finally I whipped out my pendulum to prove to her that her brother for wasn't there. She broke from her grief trance and almost panicked--we needed to get out of the woods!
We left the house and it took forever for her phone's flashlight to turn on (only on the phone the app was called eye shine, specifically for detecting predators). I kept reminding her not to run, 1) they'll chase, 2) it's muddy, and 3) its dark.
Then we came upon fresh human carcasses with unbothered and worried faces--not worried about the cats, though. We could hear grief crying and distance growls...and then silence.
Nearing the road, we were being stalked by a big panther.
I went fuckin apeshit. I turned towards the growling panther, shielding BFF. Got its attention on me. Started cussing it out. Throwing glow sticks, branches, rocks at it. It wouldn't back down. I charged, it charged. We collided. I was hitting it with everything I had. Finally it backed off, and I kept throwing glow sticks at it--big heavy ones, like glow branches. It stumbled down a hill. I stood at the top and watched it limp off.
When she and I got to the road, we obviously weren't safe, yet, but were safer. Then my alarm went off, and I remember saying, "What the fuck was that?"
That was a wild ass dream, that's what that was.
And that's shit I'd actually do too, no matter my size or health. I'm going to put myself in danger, so my loved one(s) can escape. I've done it in the past. When we were kids, I remember being at the bus stop, and some aggressive dog was there--the same dog that had bit my BFF weeks prior. I got its attention so my friends could run, then I ran making sure it was following me. Never ran so hard in my little life, but it worked. No kids got bit. If I remember right, I think BFF's dad went outside with baseball bat.
Let's be honest, in my current health condition, I'm slow and I have a bad knee--I'm gonna get caught first. So I might as well stand and fight--if I go down, I'm going down fightin. Distract so others can escape, just like when I was a little kid. Predators don't usually expect their prey to turn and fight back, so I might survive on that alone. I'll absolutely give my life to protect others. It's just how I'm built--plus I know what its like to be in danger, and people around you being too cowardly to help. I never want to do that to another person.
I also understand the meaning of the dream. Wow, what a fuckin ride of a dream, yall.
I was more worried about the big cats, though. Alert ears, head on a swivel.
We kept hearing cougar growls and unbothered women just throwing sticks, branches, and rocks at them, and the big cats would back off.
I think they all looked the same, too--the women. They were all the same person, just hair and clothes might've been different. Each one in a grief trance, just wandering the trails of this big cat filled, muddy park. I remember we were following a river or a creek that was flowing downstream.
BFF and I got to an old house that had been abandoned for years. She went inside, fearlessly. I cautiously. The rooms were bright white, but trashed with furniture and old toys. She walked to two back rooms, and stood inside one of them with her eyes closed. She was looking for the spirit of her brother. I couldn't sense any presence, and kept telling her that, but she wouldn't listen.
It was getting dark and I knew that's when the bigger, meaner cats would come, and we wouldn't be safe in that old house. I was urging her to break out of whatever possessed her to come into the house. We had to leave. Finally I whipped out my pendulum to prove to her that her brother for wasn't there. She broke from her grief trance and almost panicked--we needed to get out of the woods!
We left the house and it took forever for her phone's flashlight to turn on (only on the phone the app was called eye shine, specifically for detecting predators). I kept reminding her not to run, 1) they'll chase, 2) it's muddy, and 3) its dark.
Then we came upon fresh human carcasses with unbothered and worried faces--not worried about the cats, though. We could hear grief crying and distance growls...and then silence.
Nearing the road, we were being stalked by a big panther.
I went fuckin apeshit. I turned towards the growling panther, shielding BFF. Got its attention on me. Started cussing it out. Throwing glow sticks, branches, rocks at it. It wouldn't back down. I charged, it charged. We collided. I was hitting it with everything I had. Finally it backed off, and I kept throwing glow sticks at it--big heavy ones, like glow branches. It stumbled down a hill. I stood at the top and watched it limp off.
When she and I got to the road, we obviously weren't safe, yet, but were safer. Then my alarm went off, and I remember saying, "What the fuck was that?"
That was a wild ass dream, that's what that was.
And that's shit I'd actually do too, no matter my size or health. I'm going to put myself in danger, so my loved one(s) can escape. I've done it in the past. When we were kids, I remember being at the bus stop, and some aggressive dog was there--the same dog that had bit my BFF weeks prior. I got its attention so my friends could run, then I ran making sure it was following me. Never ran so hard in my little life, but it worked. No kids got bit. If I remember right, I think BFF's dad went outside with baseball bat.
Let's be honest, in my current health condition, I'm slow and I have a bad knee--I'm gonna get caught first. So I might as well stand and fight--if I go down, I'm going down fightin. Distract so others can escape, just like when I was a little kid. Predators don't usually expect their prey to turn and fight back, so I might survive on that alone. I'll absolutely give my life to protect others. It's just how I'm built--plus I know what its like to be in danger, and people around you being too cowardly to help. I never want to do that to another person.
I also understand the meaning of the dream. Wow, what a fuckin ride of a dream, yall.
It's also the first of the month, so if you practice money spells/prayers/intentions, today's a good day for it. I guess unless you'd rather not because of April Fools Day. I'll try to blow that cinnamon in through my door--although it's supposed to rain all day. Maybe tomorrow will be better for me, too?
- Dedicant & Hearth Keeper Foxlyn
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