Writer's Block

 This was me yesterday, while trying to begin the 9th essay:

"I'm trying to write an essay on the Kindreds, when Writer's Block hits me and suddenly I can't remember what the hell an ancestor is."

Luckily, I was able to work through that bit of writer's block by looking at pictures of my ancestral shrine, as well as the next bit about the Nature Spirit.  Although with that one, no altar photos, but gentle inspiration from Them instead.  

However, the Shining Ones...writer's block once again.  I'm following that altar theme throughout this essay, but I just hit a wall yesterday.  I think I took too long of a break after the Nature Spirit part.  I've been walking the polytheist path for over 30 years, and I've had many interesting encounters with many different entities over the time.  I'm a "godphone" as it was jokingly called on Tumblr years ago ("godbothered" is another term), meaning that I can communicate with Them almost all of the time, depending on what entity is around and if I have the energy for it.

There's no shortage of deity info or experiences with me.  

Until I started on the Shining Ones part of Essay 9.

I don't know what it is--this block.  Yesterday, I had a plan, and one that I followed through with parts 1 and 2, but part 3...nah.  

Just not knowing where to start, how to start.  The beginning?  The middle?  The present?  Am I overthinking?  Most definitely.  

I'm so close to having this essay done so I can turn it in this month--my 1 of at least 2 essays goal for this month--and yet my brain is overthinking about one of my personal favorite subjects, and a little bit of panic sets in.  Completely unnecessary of course, thanks anxiety.

Just staring at a screen that only has two words:

Shining Ones

O-okay...and?

I normally put on some headphones and blast some electronic and dance music to study and write--that beautiful chaotic and textured music just helps me focus and helps Inspiration to come through far better than other kinds of music for me.  

Just didn't work yesterday.  So I took a nap instead.  And today, same thing.  Writer's block.  It's frustrating.  Today's a dark moon, and I'm going to participate in a group astral journey with Hekate tonight.  

I also pulled from cards earlier with Hekate, who said, don't rush.  Breathe.  You know what to do to get through this block.  If you rush, you're not going to be proud of this piece.  And She's 100% write (ah, dyslexia).  I don't want to put something out just to get it done.  I want to be proud of it, too.  And following the altar theme so far, I'm down with.  I want to keep that theme throughout.  I just need to figure out how to get through this damn blockage, but I also can't remember how I usually do that.  Pictures and going outside worked yesterday.

Maybe taking off some of these weights that I'm carrying--the pressure to perform well, to turn in more essays.  Maybe I'll give my brain some fun and go play Fallout 4.  Sometimes that game gets the creative juices flowing, and not just for fanfiction stuff.

- Dedicant and Heath Keeper Foxlyn Wren