Doing Rituals

 On Memorial Day, one of my friends cat died suddenly and traumatically due to a pre-existing heart condition, I believe they said.  I wrote a Cat Memorial Rite and performed it the other night.  I tried to do a FB Live in our study group, but my internet connection wasn't very good, so after the third try, I decided to just record and post.

The first attempt of the rite was a lot better than the recording.  The recording was also very casual because I've known this person since high school.  I personally prefer a little bit of humor in my death (and it's a decision that I don't just make on my own)--and with my friend, I asked about some silly things about her cat, Minion.  Cutesy names, typical annoying asshole cat shit, good memories.  I talked a bit about my experience with cats and spirits pets, as well as with grief.  I tried to balance the silly with the serious.  There was a lot of off-script talk about grief, too, and about pets and family.  

This is my first memorial rite for a pet and I rewrote it a few times.  Yes, invite our guests, but the focus needs to be on the deceased and on the family.  

In watching the rite back, during the Work part, I accidentally asked for grief support for everyone suffering loss, when I meant to say for Minion's family.  I definitely went off script and was just in the moment.  I doubt my friend will be upset (she hasn't watched it yet), but it's personal note for next time.

I think for the next memorial rite I do, I'm going write more to focus on the deceased.  I don't think the script is bad, but it could use more work.  When I wrote it, I was at a family gathering, with no resources, other than the COoR. 

But none of my rituals would be complete without my usual ritual mess ups, like forgetting words, mispeaking, skipping parts, and such--even with a script.  Forgetting a prayer that I say for Hestia-Vesta every time I light a candle.  A prayer that I've spoken many times in group rituals...sigh.

When I do any group rituals, I'm almost obligated to tell people to not expect perfection.  I have ADHD, I think I'm autistic, I have dyslexia--even with many practices and rehearsals, I always mess up during ritual, be it casual or serious.  If it's more casual, I laugh at myself.  If it's serious, I often just keep going...or if a serious ritual is too serious, a little joke to lighten the mood, but nothing distasteful.

I've been performing group rituals for years, and I'm always looking to better my ritual writings and performances--well, performance isn't the right word, is it?  Although sometimes it can be, depending on the rite.

As much as I'd like to be one of those people who can just not use a script or speak from memory, I am not.  I've tried not using scripts or just using note cards--like they teach in high school/college speech classes.  Just doesn't work for me.  I have worked on making more eye contact with people when reading from scripts though (sometimes I have those note in my scripts, too).  It just takes more practice and confidence, maybe?  Trying new methods.  I do have to work with my neurodivergences.  Can't turn those off.

Speaking of Hestia-Vesta, the Vestalia is coming up in June.  A festival that I've been celebrating for years.  I used to celebrate from the 7th to the 15th, but these days, I usually just have a ritual on the 9th.  I have my own ritual to honor Vesta and the Vestals, and I've been wondering if I should do a COoR adaptation this year?  I wonder if someone in Virtual Fire will be performing a Vestalia ritual?  Be nice to have others to celebrate with for a change.

Can't wait for my first inperson Vestalia!

Another High Day is in June--the Summer Solstice--First Day of Summer.  With Sunna poking at me this year, I'm excited to write a ritual for Her.  Her energy is actually stronger than Vesta so far.  

Well I'm off to try to finish Essay 9.  Like to get it turned in before this month ends!

- Dedicant and Hearth Keeper Foxlyn