A Wandering Fox

Okay, no. I'm also weird! I just want to clarify that Virtual Fire hasn't made me feel like an outsider at all--all of yall have been incredibly kind. It's just my experiences and fears bubbling to the surface. And also me trying to figure out weird, contradictory social rules, right? I'm still going to try to speak last when omen volunteers are asked for. I really love this grove and I don't want to fuck it up. After I posted the last post, the next day the depression was gone. Things were clearer and I didn't feel as vulnerable and like a loser who can't keep friends. I'm never really had a lot of friends--I'm a homebody and I'm also careful...or I thought I was careful with interacting with people. It would appear that my techno-psychic abilities aren't as sharp as I thought they were. Over the last few years, I've had some abusive friendships and met some selfish, two-faced people. I didn't realize that I was so naive! An

I had a great Halloween and Midfall.  It was also my Handfasting Anniversary on the 31st, and that was wonderful, too. I didn't attend Three Crane Grove's rite because our neighborhood held their Trick or Treat night.  I also decided to not pay my Friend dues to TCG this October because I'm just in a weird place.  I've been dealing with a lot of grief and depression, and just fighting with myself this fall.  Virtual Fire did have a rite, and I offered to do the omen, but only if others didn't want to.  And I want others to want to, too.  I think instead of offering first, I'll stay quiet and let others volunteer.  I don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to take over as the main seer, ya know?   It's my favorite part and I'm good at it, but I don't want others to feel that they shouldn't volunteer just because I'm present.  Or because I've said, "I will if no one else wants to."  I don't mind being a default rea

I'm trying to work on my Midfall ritual, but alas, I just lack the motivation and inspiration to do so.  Normally Midfall is my favorite ritual, and this is usually my favorite time of the year, but since 2011, October's been over shadowed by heavy grief energy.  I had a miscarriage that month and year, but have long since healed from it, knowing that my son Nathan is fine on the other side.   From that kind of grief to financial grief, it didn't get easier.  It got even more stressful, especially once our landlord in 2022, evicted us so they could refurbish the unit.  That was a super stressful time, but Gods willing, we ended up at our currant home--an upgrade to a kind landlord (I didn't know those actually existed!) and not being in an apartment anymore.  We're not attached to anyone, we have a driveway, and we're in a safe neighborhood.  However, I'm also still healing from the trauma from our last landlord.  Oofff.  Dude was a jackass--a jackass who I

I did omen last night for Virtual Fire's weekly rite.  Last night was a cauldron ritual honoring Cerridwen.  I think the last cauldron rite was done by the same person...maybe...either way it was my second one.  I don't work with my cauldrons as often as I used to.  I have two.  One in the traditional shape and one for camping.  The camping one I use for the Norse offerings and hearth magiks.  The other big one just sits on my counter, by my teas.  I need to clean it up, because at our last place the sink had a bad leak and the Just-In-Case of leaks bowl (because that bitch leaked a lot) had moved, so my cauldron got a lot of water damage.  It's really rusted on the inside.  It's cast iron, so I'm not sure if I need to take some steel wool to it or what, or just retire it.  I need to look it up.   I was raised around iron cast cookware, but never taught how to care for it.  I know for unrusted, you heat it up in the oven and use oil to season it, but never soap and

 I'm still around.  I've been taking Moderation to heart.  Last Sunday I was working at Pagan Fest, and yesterday I went to the zoo.  Today is my brother's birthday and tomorrow is my mom's 1 year death anniversary.  Normally I'd be trying to do everything and blog. It's all just much, ya know? Moooooderation. Be well!

 Moderation Do not over/under indulge Spirit of Moderation by Rev. Dangler Firmly placed, set within the bosom of the Earth, I stand upon firm foundation. The rock of moderation is fertile ground That offers me lessons I honor. Upon this rock, I learn Self-Discipline; Reminded to trust myself and my fellows, I let go of judgement and fear. Moderation, keep my hand firmly in control. When I pause, reflecting, you bring to light The stillness and center the cosmos offers. From within, I remind myself to hold to Reliability, And to be that rock for others when the seas are rough. No matter the storm or winds I encounter, I return to you, Moderation, To find understanding joy in the ordinary. Reflections and Notes: Hellenic Pillar of Metriotes - Everything in moderation. Hellenic Pillar of Sophrosune - Self Discipline. The witch rune Crossroads - Rune of Decisions, and for me over time, Self Discipline. Dionysus, a god of many things, especially Moderation.  I know many addicts who've

  Persephone's Descent ritual last night went really well.  It finally rained--during the Three Cranes Grove ritual.  During the Hallowing of the Waters, my kids and I were outside dancing in the sprinkles, yelling at the sky, "KINDREDS AND SPIRITS ALL, GIVE US THE WATERS!"  We finally got lot of rain after weeks of drought! I did the ritual inside, and due to space, I didn't have as many items on the altar. Changes: Inside Off the ground Hestia got dried rosemary offering instead of salted flour Bee got plain sugar instead of sugar water Persephone picked the Elder Futhark runes instead of any of the Greek or neutral divination tools I have. I played music in the beginning--Mama Gina's Persephone . With the ritual script on my phone and DSLR by my side, the ritual went a little something like this: I began the rite with lights on, and Mama Gina's Persephone playing on the altar. When I invited Hestia, I turned off the room light and opened that copper color

 Hospitality Being a welcome and thankful host. Spirit of  Hospitality by Rev. Dangler Welcoming, opening, drawing them in, We see ourselves in others, their presence a blessing. No matter where we have come from or where we reside, We ask that the stranger sit at our table. Our home is a blessing of refuge, Where any may be welcomed. It turns no one away who is hurting, For our fire is warmest when fed by friendship. Spirit of  Hospitality, let us be good hosts! Help us open to all, no matter their roots. Spirit of  Hospitality, let us be good guests! Help us to remember those whose land this was! Open to us that we may open to others, In memory, in joy, and in fellowship. So be it. Reflections and Notes Xenia - Hellenic Pillar of Hospitality My Hearth Entities: Hestia-Vesta, Vestals, Hekate, Frigg, Loki, Frau Holle, Tomten, Nisse, and the Disir (and perhaps some of the Alfar, but I can only see the Disir at this point). My parents didn't teach me a lot about cooking or cleaning,

 The depression is lifting a bit, I'm not so down in the dumps.  Last night during Virtual Fire's Hellenic Culture ritual--led by Pete--he asked me what deities were present.  I had declined doing the omen this round, but deities stepped forward: Loki (the spice of ritual life), Heimdall, Frigg, the Doe Persephone, Venus, and a few Others that I can't remember right now.  Pete also felt Hekate and had dogs barking outside.  I also felt Freyja and another Priest mentioned Her.  Others invited Hel, Cernunnos, Athena, a couple of Others.  Then I kept seeing the symbols of a Brown Bear, a Red Lush Rose, and Gold.  Don't know what they meant, but someone suggested possibly Aphrodite?  I think another attendee did mention Her.  Maybe.  I didn't get any additional info, so.  *shrug* The full moon is coming up, and the Fall Equinox, too.  I thought about volunteering for a ritual week before/week of the equinox honoring Persephone's Descent, but alas, those two days wer